Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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