we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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