I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
