My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The uberlube is also flammable
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
