Dual....:-)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
