i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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