I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize