You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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