Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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