I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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