I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
