I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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