I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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