I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
