And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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