why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
