the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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