Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
