Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize