Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i dont even know how to be here
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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