how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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