I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
