is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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