That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
