Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
