Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
