I cockslap morals
You can't special order awesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
