What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
