No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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