Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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