Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The best revenge is premature balding
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize