I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
