i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize