She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
