you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
