Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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