I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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