plz talk dirty to me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
