Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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