next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
