Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
