Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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