Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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