I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
