I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
