Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
