can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
