I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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