I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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