so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
