oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's just like the Real World with babies
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
