i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize