this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
