i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
