who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize