i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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